Please, Just Tell Me “No”
July 27, 2011 1 Comment
Years ago, when I lived in San Diego, I attended a Filipino church. The congregation was the friendliest I’ve ever seen and they served delicious food.
However, I soon learned that saying “no” outright was not part of their culture. Instead of saying “No,” they would defer the decision (“I can let you know on Friday”) or use some sort of delay tactic such as saying “I need to check with family,” when, I would later learn, they really meant “No.” Outright refusal was seen as an insult.
It about drove me crazy.
I’m a “let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and ‘no’ be ‘no”’ kind of person.
I probably drove them crazy.
People generally ARE really nice here, but once in a while I notice a reluctance to say “No.” Instead of saying “No,” some people agree just to avoid looking mean or selfish or to avoid confrontation.
20 Ways to Tell Someone “No” If I can say it truthfully, I might add “I’d love to, but . . .” in front of these responses, to “soften the blow” even more.
Do you have other ways of saying no that work for you?