8 Ways Karate Helps Kids Improve Communication Skills

 

2007 Windingland family karate picture

Participation in karate offers many benefits for children (and adults).  The physical benefits are obvious (endurance, strength, flexibility, coordination and balance), but there are several mental benefits as well, including improved communication skills.

Karate is even seen as a way to help kids with autism improve communication skills (CBS.com Video).

As both a student for the past 8 years and as an instructor at Rogers Professional Karate Studio, I have noticed the following communication benefits from karate:

Tracks in the Snow: How to Connect with People Who Avoid You

I trudged out in the new snow to get the morning paper, bleary-eyed from staying up too late.  On the way back to the house, I noticed the tracks.  Deer tracks. Hundreds of tiny hoof prints.  I paused, marveling at how close to the house they were.  I had never seen deer so close to my home.  But, the tracks were evidence; evidence that they do indeed come near, just not when I’m around.

What?  Don’t they like me?  Don’t they know I won’t hurt them?  Don’t they know I think they are beautiful?

OK.  I won’t take it personally.  Maybe their instincts make them wary.  Maybe they’ve encountered hunters.  Maybe they are indoctrinated at deer school with showings of “Bambi.”

Are there people in your life like those deer?  People you desperately want to see, to connect with, but all you get is “tracks in the snow?”  The teenager who leaves a trail of dirty dishes, but sits behind a closed door; the employee who picks up a paycheck, but rarely picks up the phone when you call; or the prospect who fills out the inquiry form on your website, but never returns emails?

How do you connect with them?

Don’t Be an Accidental Liar!

Have you heard that baby carrots are made from deformed full size carrots that have been soaked in chlorine?  That white film you see after they have been stored in the fridge a few days is the chlorine coming to the surface.

Or, maybe you have heard some other disturbing story forwarded by a friend.  Do you ever check the story out?  Most of them are “urban legends.”  The baby carrot story is an example of how easy it is to take truth and mix it with fiction.  Forward that email and you are an “accidental liar.”

Misuse of statistics is another way to be an accidental liar.

“There are three kinds of lies:  lies, damned lies and statistics”

–popularized by Mark Twain

The Dance of Conversation: What Dance Classes Taught Me About Conversation

I’m glad I don’t talk like I dance.  If I did I’d probably be considered autistic—I misstep, turn the wrong way, and sometimes hijack the lead. Well, maybe I’m being too hard on myself.  I’ve only had a few dance lessons.

However, in those few lessons, the parallels between dance and everyday conversation, have been striking.  We can learn a lot about what makes for good conversation by what makes for good partner dancing.  Here a dozen brief lessons I have learned:

Lose your but!

Recently my 17 year-old daughter cleaned my house.   I know I should have had a hallelujah breakdown because  “seventeen year-old-daughter” and ”house cleaning” don’t often occur in the same sentence.  Instead, I managed to find fault.  When she was done, I said, “the house looks good.” She smiled; glad to have pleased me with her effort.  But then I added, “but you missed the edges of the floor in the bathroom,” and her smile faded into discouragement. 

Ouch.  I should have lost my “but.” 

You Choose: An Apostrophe Or a Job?

Could an apostrophe stand between you and your next job?

You bet!

Just like your initial appearance and small talk can make or break a first impression, so can the smallest of typos or spelling errors.

“I stop reading when I find spelling mistakes.” Spelling mistakes were a top complaint of every hiring manager in one survey of more than 600 hiring managers.

In another survey, more than a fifth of executives said a single typo on a resume or cover letter could cost a potential employee a job, while 28 percent said two mistakes would kill their chances.

If emails and Facebook status updates are any indication, one of the biggest challenges in spelling is the misuse of homophones (words that sound alike, but have different meanings or spellings, such as “your” and “you’re”).

Last night, I asked my Facebook friends to help me take a stand against the insidious problem of homophone abuse. I posted a grammar challenge (OK, for you purists, I probably should have written “spelling challenge”) on my Facebook status.

The Smallest Conversation: 4 Tips to a Better E-mail Subject Line

To open or not to open?

That is the question your email recipients ask as they look at the subject line of your email, one of many in their overflowing in-boxes.  Why should they open your email?

Increase the readership and response to your emails by following four easy tips:

At a Loss for Words for Words of Loss

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry you have cancer.”

“I’m sorry you lost your job.”

“I’m sorry you’re getting a divorce.”

“I’m sorry your dog died.”

“I’m sorry your son died.”

 I’ve said “I’m sorry” for all those things and more in the past year and every time the expression has felt so inadequate.  My condolences were heartfelt, but I always felt as if my words of sympathy were like a drop in the bucket compared to the great depths of the person’s loss. 

Have you ever felt at a loss for words when faced with responding to someone’s loss?

Has that ever kept you from reaching out to that person?

 I started writing this blog entry thinking I was going to write some profound, meaningful phrases that you could use when talking with (or writing to) a grief-stricken person.  Maybe I will do that sometime in the future, but at this time, I want to urge you to reach out, with whatever words come to you, even just a simple, “I’m sorry.”  Because, sometimes it isn’t so much the words as the act of reaching out that will be of greatest comfort to someone in painful grieving.  Maybe no words at all are needed.  Perhaps a kind, lingering glance or a hug will speak volumes.  Maybe just being there is the greatest expression of sympathy.  So, if you are at a loss for words for words of loss, speak from your soul by being present with the person.

The Pygmalion Effect–The Importance of Expectations

“Well, at least I received a fairly high rating on “encouragement,” I thought as I glanced at the “Trainer Observation Form” that my supervisor on my new, very part-time job handed me a few days ago.  She had been taking notes discretely on my performance during my 3^rd training session with a student (as a cognitive skills trainer).  Although I felt good that I had been encouraging to the student, it was disheartening to see some other areas that fell in the column “needs improvement.”  My supervisor did say that the “needs improvement” areas were pretty normal for a beginning trainer, but it was still slightly de-motivating to receive the somewhat negative feedback. 

Reflecting on my feelings a few days later, I considered the influence of expectations and feedback on performance.  If I have high expectations of someone (or even myself), my feedback tends to accentuate the positives and downplay the negatives, which usually results in a desire to improve performance.  On the other hand, if I have low expectations, my feedback tends to focus more on the negatives and performance typically suffers.  A performance rating doesn’t just sum up the past; it can affect or determine the future.

How to Be Kind when Criticizing Others

“You missed a spot!”

“You’re leaving the house looking like that?”

Criticism. Does anyone truly enjoy receiving criticism? Does anyone truly enjoy giving criticism? It’s hard to criticize without causing anger, hurt or defensiveness. You could take the ostrich approach and just bury your head in the sand and ignore others’ failings. Sometimes that is the best approach, especially for trivial matters. However, just because people don’t like being criticized, that doesn’t mean we can avoid doing it. If we allow people to continue doing the wrong thing, we build up feelings of resentment. The secret is to criticize with kindness, and sparingly.